Things I’ve Heard, Pt. 2

13 11 2008

In the latest issue of Cedars, the Cedarville University student newspaper, the entire back page was dedicated to student responses (sent in via email) to our new president-elect, Barack Obama.  Below, I critique the ones that stuck out to me.

1.  No Words

There are no words to describe it, short and sweet.  “A dream come true.”  God is in control.

Wait, if there were no words (short and sweet or not), why do you then go on to list a few words?  That … That makes no sense.

2.  Yes We Can

Yes we did.

I had to include the Bob the Builder reference …

3.  Checks and Balances

America got what she wanted… CHANGE.  Obama, Pelosi and Reed now control the executive and legislative branches, and the possibility of the judicial branch through Obama’s nominations… so much for checks and balances!  I’m glad God is sovereign, especially even when things don’t make sense!

Very observant.  America would have gotten change either way.  Additionally, I’m pretty sure we still have checks and balances, regardless of who’s in the branches.  You can’t just take away checks and balances, that’s kind of the concept of The Constitution.

4.  Zimmerman/Thompson ’12

I put down myself and my roommate as write-ins.  Even though Obama is technically the winner, I’m still hoping that works out for us.  Zimmerman/Thompson ’12!!!!

Kristi, you’re famous!  Oh, by the way, Dave wrote this from your email account, that’s why you don’t remember writing it ;).  Words of wisdom: never leave your computer unattended.  Also, you guys should probably give up now.  You don’t stand a chance against the unstoppable force of the Cox/Laird ‘012 train!

5.  Antarctica

I’m moving to Antarctica.  Anybody wanna come with me?

We’re holding you to that.  You and everyone who claims they’re moving to Canada, Africa, and … anywhere out of the country.  Actually, Dave has a bona fide list.  You’ve got two months after Obama’s sworn in to get out or he’s reporting you to homeland security.  So there.

6.  9/11 Comparisons

Obama, the new president-elect, has made history and I respect that immensely.  However, those at Cedarville that try to elevate the significance of this historical event to the same importance of events like 9/11 are horribly misguided.

I completely agree.  Why would you even compare the election to 9/11?  They’re on two completely different spectrums.  One involved terrorists slaughtering countless innocent Americans.  The other involved the majority of the country picking one man to be their new president.  So any connection that might be there is one you made up.  Probably on your connecting flight to Antarctica.

7.  Christian Responses

While I didn’t vote for Obama, I am frustrated by responses I’ve heard from some Christians, referring to people who didn’t vote for John McCain as ignorant and uninformed.  Just because someone votes differently than you doesn’t mean they’re ignorant.

Preach it!  Please refer to the stupidity in this article for a few examples.

8.  Voting by Skin Color

I’m excited about having a black president for the first time in America history, but I think that the way some people voted and talked indicated that we as a nation still have not reached the point where people are not judged by skin color.

Although I think that it’s cool to have an African American president, it really bothers me that he may be the first president who might not have wont he election but for the color of his skin.

Two people both posted on the same issue.  Obama is clearly our new president simply because he’s black.  It has nothing to do with his policies, or how sick our country is of our previous Republic president, or how horrible the alternative (John McCain) was.  Here’s the thing though.  People say Obama wouldn’t have won if he was white, and he was the “first president to win based on race”.  Well, I’d bet money that Abraham Lincoln wouldn’t have won if he was black.  So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

9.  Don’t Trust the Promises

Obama will crush the poor and middle class.  Taxes on “the rich” (that nebulous arch-enemy trotted out by progressives seeking power) will be passed on to the consumer through raised prices, downsizing and layoffs, plus outsourcing.  Don’t believe his promises.

Yes.  Taxing the rich means higher prices.  Because taxing the poor to the point they that can’t afford things and the demand decreases while the supply remains the same could never affect prices.

10.  First African American President

I am first, and foremost, disappointed that Senator McCain did not win the presidential race.  However, “America voted” and chose Barack Obama to be our next president.  We have our first white, black, and Arab president!

I first and foremost would like to know why you put quotation marks around “America voted.”  I can’t stand it when quotation marks are used unnecessarily.  And … Wait, Obama is Arab?  That’s news to me.  I thought he was our first African American president, not Arab.  Now I’m just confused.  Or you’re just a moron.  Yeah, that’s the one.

11.  Hope


Apparently the less words you provide, the bigger the font they use.  Seriously, this one was the largest quote, in the middle of the page.  And the “Yes we did” one wasn’t much smaller.

12.  Misbehaving Child

Like a parent whose child has just misbehaved, I still love America, yet dislike its behavior at this time.  The election of Barack Obama signals a cardinal change in American voting behavior from voting on what a candidate represents, to voting based on who a person represents.

I included this specifically because, not only do I love Brad, but he is also one of the few that actually proofread their emails before sending it to Cedars.  High five!